11 Spectacular WTF Events Proving Glasgow is a City Like No Other
Glasgow is no longer known as the friendly city that’s a wee bit stabby. Modern Glasgow has it all – more cafe culture than knife culture, and fast-becoming the city that now prefers Al Fresco dining to liquid lunches. Welcome to 21st century Glasgow.
Here are 11 WTF events Glaswegians never thought they would ever see…
1. Neds Chasing Pokemon
Ah yes the scourge of Scotland, like a swarm of human midges, their sole goal in life to get their hands on alcohol and if they’re lucky, their hole. But lately Neds have been occupied by something else entirely. Pokemon Go. Shoplifting has plummeted to almost zero, teenage pregnancies have plateaued and bus journeys lately have been free of any nasal voiced nuisances.
2. A Happy Goth
Has anybody else noticed the Glasgow goths? They are a pale, dark featured species, who gaze upon sunlight with suspicion and only answer to Marilyn Manson or Alice Cooper. We made part up, as we’ve never actually spoken to one in real life – GlasgowLiving is usually tucked up in bed by the time they come out.
But it does seem that Goths are altogether happier these days, whether it be Blink 182 releasing a pretty cracking album, Good Charlotte reforming and owning the charts again or the knowledge that as goths they probably won’t ever get skin cancer. It does seem a good time to be a goth in the city.
3. Posh McDonald’s
You can tell Glasgow’s moving up in the world because various McDonalds across the city have installed new pre pay machines where you now don’t even need to interact directly with any other human beings before devouring your meal like a caveman. What a time to be alive.
4. West End Yuppies Forced to Take the Bus
Although the subway renovation was a major pain in the arse, it was hard not to take some pleasure in seeing the look on horrified west ender faces as they were forced to take the bus for the first time, since that spectacular walk of shame in 1997.
5. Bloody Begbie
Quiet, reserved, non-psychopathic Francis Begbie is back. Yup Trainspotting 2 baby. Being filmed in Glasgow amongst other places. I’d keep edgy though, by the looks of it, Begbie would still smash your face in.
6. A Genuine Poltergeist
Rutherglen is technically a wee bit out the way, but you must have read about the real life poltergeist in Rutherglen? Lights switching on and off, floating dogs, clothes being thrown across the room, lampshades turning upside down. Police, following the incident were so baffled, were forced to make a phonecall. Who you gonna call? The Catholic Church obviously, Ghostbusters is a movie, you numpty.
7. Embracing Glasgow’s Inner Chubster
Can you believe Glasgow now has four Krispy Kreme stores in and around the city? We need no longer be ashamed because of our love of doughnuts. Silverburn, Buchanan Galleries, Central Station and Braehead rejoice. Suck it Edinburgh, you’ve only got three.
8. Wee Rosie Webster Taking Her Wean For A Walk
Yup Kevin Webster’s daughter is now a fully fledged honourary Weegie. After being seen strolling around Glasgow, Rosie Webster aka Helen Flanagan, alongside partner Scott Sinclair, looks as if she’s embraced her move to Scotland’s best city.
9. Actual Real Life Joggers Pounding The Glasgow City Centre Streets
A surefire sign of the city’s changing fortunes, real life joggers in and around the city centre. Joggers out with the intention of jogging, not hounding it chasing a missed bus, not shoplifters fleeing a pissed off security guard. Actual joggers…in jogging gear…jogging. It’s a surreal and beautiful sight to behold.
10. Joey Barton Playing For Rangers
Lifelong Celtic fan Joey Barton playing for Rangers, we don’t know who were more shocked, Rangers fans, Celtic fans or Joey Barton?
11. Kolo Toure Playing For Celtic
Another stunning signing for a member of the Old Firm, Former Manchester City and Liverpool defender Kolo Toure wearing the hoops of Celtic. Who said that the Glasgow clubs can’t deliver a few thrilling moments every now and then?