13 Surefire Signs You're A Full Blooded Glaswegian
Perhaps your parents hid the truth from you, but you’ve always had that sneaky suspicion. Whether it be arguing with the weather man, arguing with the red man at traffic lights, or arguing that an argument is not worth arguing.
Anyway you may as well come to terms with it…You’re a Glaswegian.
If you’ve ever found yourself participating in any of these behaviours or inexplicably carried out these actions. It’s time to face the truth…
13. You have perfected the look of ridicule, when others attempt to suggest any other city in Scotland is better than Glasgow.
12. Hearing “Mother Glasgow”, “Dignity”, or anything by Texas, makes you instantly well up like an emotionally unstable parent.
11. You’re an absolute pro when it comes to navigating the choppy seas of the reduced section of Rutherglen’s 24hr Tesco.
10. You’re also an absolute pro at queuing in supermarkets, but are not above a dismissive tut at the length of time it takes to get served.
9. You inadvertently disrobe at the first glimmer of sun, regardless of where you are in the world, or what temperature the mercury is sitting at.
8. The only correct answer to the question “Pint?” Is “Pint Tennent’s mate” (Pint of two pences is also an acceptable answer)
7. No matter your political sway, Alex Salmond does your absolute head in.
6. While sitting in the pub, conversations can swing wildly from Kym Kardashian’s t*ts, to the escalating political turmoil in Syria within three sentences, but never about Celtic and Rangers, (especially in mixed company.)
5. You are literally immune to rain, (which explains why Glaswegians never wear a jacket or carry a brolly.) but you also have an intuitive knowledge of what type of rain is due to fall and what time. Like a Native American, reading the earth.
4. You’re almost as passionate about barbecues as Australians but with far less success and opportunity to carry them out.
3. You understand the suffering of the Glaswegian accent.
2. You’re ashamed of “Here We, Here We, Here We, F***in Go.” Until an hour into the gig when you can be found at the front of the crowd, leading the chant.
1. You are nonchalant to witnessing random acts of violence on a Saturday night, but if your bus takes a left instead of a right on the way to work, it’s pretty much going to be an entire chapter in your future autobiography.