Cliches, Glaswegians Are Sick to the Back Teeth of Hearing
Its time to clear up a few of the old cliches that haunt Glaswegians. Repeated expectations of locals being tight with money, aggressive, or unhealthy just makes them furious.
Raging enough to buy a deep fried pizza and not care about the price. “Wait. How much? I’m not paying that for a pizza! I can get it round the corner for a third of the price.”
Anyway, we’re tired of flogging this dead horse, don’t get bent out of shape and we really hope there’s no bad blood. All hands on deck as we bite the bullet and give you some of the best worst cliches, Glaswegians are sick (as a parrot) of hearing.
1. All Glaswegians Are Born & Raised in a Tenement
We can assure you that all Glaswegians are not born in tenements on rough housing estates. Fifteen members of the same family do not live in the same room and kitchen. Although if you go round to the average Glasgow granny’s house on a Sunday, you’ll definitely see about seven generations of the same family.
2. Dislike Everybody From Edinburgh
We promise you, this is very untrue. For example, anybody who leaves Edinburgh and moves to Glasgow? Future best friends! Well you know, as soon as we teach them manners, courtesy, decency and humility.
3. Dislike Everybody From South of England*
*See Edinburgh answer*
4. Deep Fried Mars Bar
You fools! The deep fried mars bar was created for every mentalist outside of Glasgow foolish enough to eat it. We’ll stick to our pasta dishes, mince and potatoes, grilled chicken and vegetables. But you go ahead and enjoy.
5. Obsessed With Football
Again this seems a bit of an exaggeration. So what if there are three stadiums (Celtic Park, Hampden and Ibrox) with a combined capacity of more than 160,000 people in a city with a population of less than 600,000, that’s not weird. Wait, is it?
6. All Glaswegians Are Unhealthy
This is one of the worst cliches, and vastly outdated. Younger generations have been educated on the benefits of healthy living. The Commonwealth Effect will also create a health positive ripple for years to come. And have you seen the youth of today? They’re all built like wardrobes and spend more time in the gym than they do in the shower.
7. Aggression Issues
Preposterous, how can Glasgow regularly be voted the friendliest city in the world, but at the same time be voted stab happy centre of the universe. Who actually conducts these polls? As Kevin Bridges says, apparently we’ll stab you but provide directions to the hospital.
8. Mental Nationalists
What’s more mental? Scottish voters, wanting more control of the country or that UKIP are now the third most popular political party in Britain? (We do think its mental that the Sun can promote Conservative in England and SNP in Scotland and no one questions it.)
9. Alcohol Dependency
Again an outdated modus operandi, alcohol consumption has plummeted by 39 million pints of beer in Scotland since 2009, seriously can anybody actually afford to drink enough to be considered dependent on alcohol these days?
10. Indecipherable Language
Eh, funnily enough there are 600,000 people in Glasgow and more than 5 million in the country, who can understand the language spoken pretty easily. Can’t understand what’s being said? Well, listen harder and after the third time of apologising and asking to repeat? Best agree. We’ll be right anyway.
11. Everybody Drinks Lager and Whisky
Sorry to disappoint, but have you tasted lager or whisky? Generic lager tastes like you’ve poured water into a piggy bank and tanned it whilst most whisky tastes and looks like it should be powering an armoured vehicle in Iraq.
12. Everybody is Either Proddy or Cafflic
Sorry to say but Glasgow has one of the most diverse faith and religious societies in the world, with yearly festivals embracing all cultures, primary schools are taught about different religions and to be understanding of each one. Far removed from “Cafflic” / “Proddy” and nothing else.
13. Irn Bru and Square Sausage Hangover Cure
This one is pretty true actually. Surely the only people that don’t swear by this as a hangover cure? Well they’ve simply yet to try it.