Is this the greatest Duke of Wellington interview ever?
GlasgowLiving caught up with one of Glasgow’s most famous residents, the Duke of Wellington, for a surprise interview.
It quickly turned into the greatest interview in GlasgowLiving history.
GlasgowLiving: Hey there Duke how are things?
Duke of Wellington: Here, how do you think things are dafty, av been standing here for f***** ages waiting on the boys to come back us up, and mate I’ll only tell you once, it’s Duko these days, don’t call me Duke ya d***.
GlasgowLiving: Sorry ‘Duko’. You say you’re waiting on the boys, well, do you know you’re actually an iron statue and you’ve technically been waiting more than 100 years for their arrival?
Duko: Iron statue? Nae chance, whit is this? Here where the f*** are they, we’re supposed to be heading into Georgie’s Square. That Wee Rab and his dafty pals have been gien us lip every night, calling me a p**** for wearing ma hat, ahm no huvvin it.
GlasgowLiving: Do you perhaps mean the iron statue of Robert Burns in George Square and the traffic cone on your head? Oh before I forget “Duko”, did you know that the cone has become one of Glasgow’s most iconic symbols?
Duko: Whit f***** traffic cone mate? This is a designer hat, a get a new one every few months. Me and Spooko had matchin ones fur a while, but it was a bit too matchin jumpers type shit y’no.
Duko: Aye ma f***** horse mate, Spooko! you cannae f***** miss him, he’s ma beast. Duko and Spooko on the rampage.
GlasgowLiving: So Duko, tell us your thoughts on the regeneration of Glasgow and your impression of Glasgow hosting the Commonwealth Games?
Duko: A cannae tell you much about that mate, av no moved of this spot in a hunner years, been keepin edgy for those George Square boys, but f*****’ loved ma gold hat by the way, was a belter, and Spooko here loves getting his photae taken.
GlasgowLiving: Well thanks for your time Duko, we’re sure you’ve got more pressing items to attend to. Have you anything you would like to say to the people of Glasgow?
Duko: Aye man, is this gone on that mad GlasgowLiving hing? Well, aw a want to say is to they dafties in George’s Square am cummin for ye, an all knock ye aw aff yer plinth.
You couldn’t make it up Glasgow.