31 shows that guarantee you're officially a coffin dodger
We all remember it, running home from school on Friday to catch Zzzap. Maybe watch Garfield(and Friends) or Biker Mice From Mars before school. What about getting Cable/Sky for the first time? Mindblowing…
Here you have it Glasgow, 31 of your favourite TV shows, each one, in their own way, allowing you to realise you’re officially a coffin dodger.
Grange Hill (1978-2008)
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The first childrens TV programme to show the gritty realisation that being a kid at school can and probably will be difficult. Storylines such as heroin addiction, knife violence, rape and disability were no longer taboo. The Daily Mail was definitely outraged. Creator Phil Redmond would go on to create Hollyoaks and Brookside. Script Editor Anthony Minghella would win a Best Director Oscar for The English Patient.
Johnny Bravo (1997-2004)
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“Whoah Momma” who can forget the big hearted blonde buffoon with a hidden heart of gold, Seth McFarlane of Family Guy fame’s first animated responsibility. Celebrity guest stars ranged from Mick Jagger, Jessica Biel or even original Charlie’s Angel, Farah Fawcett.
Teen Angel (1997-1998)
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Only showing for one season before being cancelled, Teen Angel, was the story of how a teenager died after eating a six year old hamburger following a dare from his best friend, and returns to earth as his guardian angel. Was shown on the Disney Channel in the UK, and even had a guest appearance by the main character of our next TV show.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch (1996-2003)
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Oh Sabrina, how we laughed at your exploits, hoped you would live happily ever with Harvey, were unsure why magicians Penn and Teller appeared and secretly longed for a megalomaniacal, world domination obsessed cat like Salem. Plus the aunties were hot.
*TV channel*, Trouble (1997-2009)
*We broke our own rules* but, Trouble, showed far too many amazing programmes to separate. They could make up an entire list on its own. Two Guys a Girl & a Pizza Place, My Wife & Kids and City Guys get honourable mention.
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Oh loveable Brum, the little green car with the big heart, always off on huge adventures as soon as the museum owner had his back turned and always making sure you were back in your rightful space in the museum, moments before the owner realised you were missing…or alive. We often wondered how no one ever came in the museum the next day and said, “that small car helped me put out a massive house fire last night.” I guess we’ll never know.
Bodger and Badger (1989-1999)
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“Everybody knows Badger loves mashed potatoes.” But no one had the heart to tell Bodger his best friend was a furry puppet and Bodger had literally spent years of his life throwing mashed potatoes over himself. Rumours of Bodger being sectioned under the mental health act are as of yet unproven.
Sister Sister (1994-1999)
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Tia and Tamera, Two sisters separated at birth, are reunited after bumping into each other in the mall, both of their parents were single. So spent 6 series in a will they, won’t they relationship, after they all decided to live together. Also coined the catchphrase, “Go Home Roger.”
The Crystal Maze (1990-1995)
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One of the greatest programmes of all time, for five years we were hooked on Richard o’Brien’s eccentric presenting skills, the dread we felt when the next challenge was announced as an “automatic lock in”, Mumsy, the flirty talking computer in Futuristic Zone, Aztec Zone, The Crystal Dome. “Can you start the fans please.” Amazing. Lets ignore the presenter who turned up after our beloved Richard.
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Dominik Diamond and the GamesMaster (Sir Patrick Moore) were all that stood between you and being stuck on a level for four weeks, whilst helping quell that burning rage growing inside when a boss seemed unbeatable. Violence against computers was at record lows for the six years GamesMaster was on TV. How we respected the recipient of the Golden Joystick.
Round the Twist (1989-2001)
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Four series’ in 12 years, multiple cast changes, characters changing half way through a series. The production of Round the Twist was as crazy as the storylines. Highly entertaining but also massively eerie, some of the storylines involved, spooky lighthouses, ghostly apparitions, dead children, haunted knights and smelly feet that saved an endangered tortoise. Created in Australia…Go figure.
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Similar in style to Family Guy except 20 year earlier and more PC. Dinosaurs was the brainchild of Jim “Muppets” Henson, which followed the daily lives of a typical 2.4 children family. Except they were dinosaurs. Still responsible for one of the most hauntingly depressing endings to a sitcom ever. (*Hint, what happened to all dinosaurs on earth?*)
Cow and Chicken (1997-1999)
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Bizarre even for Cartoon Network. Cow and Chicken were sister and brother with armless human parents, only ever seen from the legs down, meaning they literally brushed their teeth with their feet. How did they give birth to two very different animals? A cabbage apparently. Why was their cousin a boneless chicken? Never discussed. Why was the devil trying to tempt them? Who knows.
Kenan and Kel (1996-2000)
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“Who loves orange soda? Kel loves orange soda. Is it true…Is it true? oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, it’s true’uuuuue. I do, I do, I do, I do’ooooo.” Plus Coolio in opening credits, legendary.
*Byker Grove (1989-2006)*
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P.S. Sorry we couldn’t get the intro, here’s PJ getting shot in the face with a paintball.
Without Byker Grove there would be no Ant and Dec, Jax from Sons of Anarchy or even Life on Mars. Who can forget PJ being blinded with a paintball gun by rivals Denton Burn. Byker Grove, was one of the first kids shows to be set outside of school grounds, and gave Oscar winning Director, Tom Hooper (The King’s Speech) his first directing role, directing four episodes.
The Demon Headmaster (1996-1998)
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The Demon Headmaster, always obsessed with taking over the world. The headteacher everybody dreaded. We all secretly thought that our headmaster must be related to this hypnotising horror. We’re still certain that somehow, somewhere he’s just biding his time to take over a school, but who will stop him?
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Yakko, Wakko and Dot, locked up in the 1930’s for being too zany, they are unleashed on a 1990’s audience, regularly breaking the fourth wall and generally causing anarchy. Executive Producer Steven Spielberg was so proud of his work he creatively input for the entire length of time Animaniacs was on tv. Special mention to Pinky and the Brain and the Goodfeathers.
Captain Planet and the Planeteers (1990-1996)
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Environmentally aware, before we even had the responsibility of recycle bins. Captain Planet made recycling cool and educated us on the dangers of pollution, long before Greenpeace, throwing in the odd episode about drug addiction and Captain Planet gave us a conscience. The planeteers with their rings to summon Captain Planet was also pretty bad ass. Guest Stars ranged from Liz Taylor, Whoopie Goldberg, Jeff Goldblum, Sting and countless more
Animals of Farthing Wood (1993-1995)
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Where to begin, nothing taught us more about the circle of life than the Animals of Farthing Wood, that damn journey to White Deer Park to apparent “safety”. It was soon clear that no character was safe and even the baby animals were likely to be murdered, run over, attacked by rival animals or perish from a freezing winter. Life lesson we learned. Love nothing, cherish never, hope is futile.
Fun House (1978-2000)
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Hosted by Pat Sharp accompanied by the twins, Fun House was amazing, answer questions, compete in activities, jump on go-carts, whizz about, collect prizes, and eventually get a chance inside the Fun House. Have the greatest time of your life…P.S Pat Sharp’s Mullet.
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So far ahead of its time it was unbelieveable, still watchable even to this day, and when a bad guy appears on screen, you still want to yell out, side step left, side step left, forward, forward. Conceived by using blue screens, favourited by weather forecasts to create the first fully interactive virtual reality gameshow. Treguard the Dungeon Master helped guide teams from the castle. For the first three series nobody succeeded in completing the Knightmare. They began to include extra lives and Treguard helped more.
Smart Guy (1997-1999)
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“He’s a smart guy.” The hijinks of T.J a 10 year old child genius, being promoted to high school and trying to fit in with young people nearly twice his age.
Are You Afraid of the Dark (1990-1996)
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YES!!! Almost single handedly because of this “kids” programme. The Midnight Society were the bravest group of children in history, meeting up at midnight to tell each other freaky horror stories. Like a child version of the Twilight Zone. Nightmares were born of this show.
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Probably the most upbeat opening title ever for a cartoon. The Hurricanes were managed by Jock Stone, paying homage to Scottish football’s greatest manager Jock Stein. Rivals Gorgons would always revert to underhand tactics to cheat their opponents, however the Hurricanes would never resort to cheating because cheaters never prevail.
Tots TV (1993-1998)
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Three dolls living in a cottage, together they draw learn and go on adventures, along with their friend Donkey, the dolls can call on a magic bag to grant them wishes.
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The Wolf, Jet, Hunter, Shadow and the rest of the modern day Greek warriors. Presented by John Fashanu and Ulrika Johnson. Refereed by the fearless Scot, John Anderson. Who can forget 3….2…..1…. and the shrill noise, of John’s metallic sword of justice. His whistle. We still reckon we could get up the travelator.
Queen’s Nose (1995-2003)
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The girl with the magical 50p piece, Harmony granted 10 wishes and the adventures that come with it, what we learned? Every action has a consequence. The later series’ failed to capture the same spirit as the earlier as main protagonist Harmony was ditched.
Bernard’s Watch (1995-2005)
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Bernard with the magical time stopping watch. Only ever using the watch for the greater good, for example, running late for school, in local shop, stops time, gets some sweets, puts money in the register. What happens if he uses it too much, does his internal body clock still age, when time has stopped for everyone else, won’t people think its weird when he goes from being a ten year old boy to a 20 year old man? What about the space time continuum? Aaaagh.
Rosie and Jim (1990-2000)
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Rosie and Jim, the two rag dolls travelling along a barge named Ragdoll, seemed to be living in sin alongside the duck who quacked to alert the two rag dolls it was safe to come alive and play. Both used to get into mischief in every episode but it seemed like no-one else could see them, could also be found kissing each other or the duck on multiple occasions.
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Any adult, aged 30-40, will have fond memories of Rainbow. Zippy the sid vicious of kids TV, George, the friendliest hippo that ever lived, and Bungo the bear who we suspect might have been partaking in illegal narcotics behaviour. Geoffrey the presenter, tried and usually failed to keep order. Zippy was the smart arse, George was the moral base of the show and Bungo just sort of floated about.
Hey Arnold (1996-2004)
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“Hey Football Head.” Arnold was the forever put upon young man with the unfortunate shaped cranium. Basically stalked by Helga, his would be girlfriend, Hey Arnold featured stories in which Arnold and his friends faced struggles, usually magnified everyday events. Sometimes however, there would be a supernatural element to the show. Friendship and teamwork would more often than not solve the problem.