The 9 Different Gig-Goers You Bump Into @ Every Gig
Glasgow has always had an incredibly vibrant music scene, bands, DJ’s and live performers love coming to the city, whether it be the lively crowd, the atmosphere or simply the fact Glaswegians love a night out. Glasgow is universally recognised the world over for its love of music and in 2008 was given the accolade of “UNESCO City of Music”.
GlasgowLiving presents…The People You’re Guaranteed To Bump Into At Every Glasgow Gig.
1. The Awkward First Date Couple
Ah yes the first date couple, the prospective new couple both remember each other mentioning a particular band or singer and suggest attending the O2 Academy. You’ll be able to spot them, because they both really want to hold each others hand or dance a little, but are wracked with nerves. Conversations will consist of “really liking the band/singer”, “really liking the song” and “it’s really busy/quiet in here”. It will be revealed later in the relationship that both hate the band or song but didn’t want to ruin their chances of making the beast with the two backs.
2. The Fan On The Verge Of A Restraining Order
Decked head to toe in merchandise and as close to the stage as humanly possible. Tears will stream down their face as the band walk on stage, will have been awake for three days due to overwhelming excitement, the band will recognise the fan but smile through eyes of fear. Will definitely have found out which hotel the band are staying, using Google Maps and the position of the Sun in their Instagram photo. Will be carrying a tent on their back with plans to camp outside the hotel. (Can be found at the front doors of the gig days after the gig.)
3. The Leg/Head Bobber
The coolest person in the room (or so they think) wouldn’t be seen actually expressing any emotion at the gig, even though they’ve waited four years for the gig, the song they want married and buried to has just been played, whilst being invited on stage and had it dedicated to them on 30 foot screens to a crowd of 10,000 people. Nope, bop the leg and nod the head. (Will almost certainly click their fingers rather than y’no actually clap in appreciation.)
4. The Camera Phone/iPad Guy
A victim of modern technology, this particular gig goer will spend the majority of their time behind the screen of an Ipad or recording device, so they can “watch it later”. The sense of irony seems to be lost on the fact that the gig is happening directly in front of them, and they’re hiding behind a screen. (Most likely to be found sitting down upstairs and texting during the unpopular songs.)
5. The Pint Chucking Knobend
Easily the worst person attending a gig, nobody wants to be standing at a gig, with grand plans to head out after the gig, only to be drenched in a pint of cider like alcoholic rain pouring from the heavens. It seems pretty bonkers because it takes about 20 minutes to get served and it’s like £4 pounds a pint. We wouldn’t even chuck it over you if you found yourself in an unfortunate flammable situation.
6. The Steamer
A.K.A The pinball. Cast adrift from his peer group on account of being “f***** wrecked” , this poor soul is left to bounce amongst the crowd until either feeling the wrath of an irritated short fused gig goer, being ejected from the gig itself, or by being retrieved by his friends, then babysat by the the nominated mate. (Can also be found at all day music events such as TITP or Creamfields, in their droves.)
7. The Cynic
The one that’s seen it all before, usually standing at the back of the crowd, guaranteed to be whining about forking out £70 quid for a ticket because they remember the first gig costing a fiver, recanting their well-worn tale “when you could look into the whites of their eyes as they sang from the heart. Way before the music corrupted their soul.” Will be seen wailing and lashing out at the sky when their favourite song is given a “EDM” remix on stage.
8. The One Song Wonder
This gig goer is the John Terry of gig goers, Only interested in the glory. Waiting like a vulture to hear the groups solitary number one, inevitably unleashed at the very end, and usually as an encore. Is guaranteed to venture into work the next day proclaiming it as the most fantastic gig they’ve ever seen. (The “Cynic” and “Restraining Order Fan” will have failed to get the limited tickets, because of a computer glitch in work and will be taking turns to cry and punch the toilet hand-dryer.)
9. The 10 Foot Man-Wall
An unfortunate soul, will be self aware that wherever he stands he will effectively be cancelling out every form of light and sound for gig goers standing behind him similar to a visual and auditory human eclipse. Will continuously move around attempting to find a satisfactory standing position before slinking away to the back of the event, cursing his gigantor ten foot ten dad.