11 signs your clubbing days are over
Everybody can sense it, one too many complaints, lost keys, lost pride, lost self respect and is the thought of watching celebrities dance beginning to give you a slight adrenaline buzz?
It can mean only one thing. Your clubbing days are numbered, the parties finished, get the comfies on grandpa/grandma, look forward to early mornings, discussing pressing world matters and sucking on toast because it’s just too damn crunchy for your teeth.
If the image above makes you shudder, then perhaps its time you had a look at GlasgowLiving’s 11 signs your clubbing days are over.
1. The first thing you do when you walk in the club is to ask for earplugs and sadly you are not the DJ
2. You ask for water at the bar and it’s legitimately to quench your thirst
3. Upon purchasing a round at the bar, you are immediately forced to check your RBS app, for fear of not being able to feed Pooch the dog, midweek
4. You can actually remember last night’s embarrassing club conversations that took place in the toilet
5. When the thought of going to a capacity club and getting crushed by sweaty creatures of the night, gives you a massive boke
6. The best bit about your night, is the end of it, no chips and cheese, no random stoat about the town. Nope, straight up the road and straight into bed with a glass of water
7. Queues, queues, queues, they used to be a great place, banter, flirting, preparing the A game. Now it consists of huddling and complaining about going somewhere “a wee bit quieter”
8. Quite simply, you’ll do anything to avoid the strobe lights
9. The thought of wearing and ruining your newly purchased clothes terrifies you
10. On more than one occasion you have fallen asleep in the club and alcohol wasn’t to blame
11. Barely glancing at a jagerbomb results in a two day hangover